Every time i hear that being said to me, i just wish i could tell them : It's not what you see.
Everything that remains unseen in a person, is the ugliest part of a person. People get jealous of me because they've never seen what i chose to hide. All the struggles, the struggle of trying to be a normal person.
I am unhealthy. I have skin problems. I wake up everyday and look into to mirror, just to see what my skin condition is today. It can be good, or it can be horrible. I have insecurities, too. I have a low self esteem, low self confidence, and at times, i wish i could hide and not see a single person and i would wish i was someone else, too.
No one in this planet can feel the exact same pain as you do. Of course, i may seem like i have a good life, i can laugh all day and joke around, i have a loving family, loving friends. But no one knows i try so hard to get myself together everyday, i try to pull every single bit of me that's strong together so i don't fall apart in front of people who care about me, i don't story what i've been through because i don't think anyone will understand. But once i loosen up myself, every nightmare starts to eat me up again.
No matter how many times i stood up, i can still be beaten up by the same reality-nightmare over and over again. I can cry every night if i wanted to, because i feel pain everyday. I can cry everyday because i wish to be a normal person everyday, someone who can do whatever i want without having to worry about the things that i do will trigger the inner illness of mine.
Do you know the struggle of wanting to be a normal person?
You wish you were me? Maybe i would wish i was you.
